Social Media: Where Complicated Gets Its PH.D. in Relationships
In an era dominated by scrolling and swiping, the allure of social media has transformed love into a digital battleground. From jealously-fuelled arguments to the illusion of perfection, social media platforms have added layers of complication to modern-day dating.
By Bianca Thompson
Image via Forbes
In the digital age of blue checkmarks, fly out culture, dating apps and social media influencers, entering the dating world seems like a nightmare. Once the rose-coloured lenses are removed, it is safe to say the dating scene is not a pretty sight.
With Instagram accounts like @TheShadeRoom or @JustinLaBoy popularizing toxic behaviour, situationships, sneaky links, and “belonging to the streets,” no wonder the idea of a monogamous relationship seems taboo.
To simply put it, people have forgotten the true concept of romance and how to actually date someone to gain more than sex or a free dinner. It has become easy to hide behind social media and dating apps, making it extremely difficult to differentiate between the real and the fake.
What ever happened to the saying, don’t judge a book by its cover? You can throw that completely out the window with the creation of dating apps like Tinder or Hinge. Now, finding Mr. or Mrs. Right all comes down to literally swiping left or right based on a person’s appearance, followed by a two second glimpse into their personality. For all we know, we could be giving a really hot serial killer access to us and our personal information.
While social media undeniably has its perks like making new connections, creating a time capsule full of photo memories, promoting your business, or keeping up to date on social issues, it’s a huge curse on this generation when it comes to romantic relationships. Why? Grab some popcorn and get comfortable because the list goes on and on.
The problem with social media
People are being conditioned to believe it is normal to treat each other like objects that only exist for personal gain. Once you are no longer of use to me, it’s totally okay for me to ghost you because social media allows that with the click of a block button.
Social media has made us more selfish, desensitized and cold. It’s become fun to cheat, toy with people’s emotions, or make someone’s “pockets hurt.”
You could argue that people have been doing horrible things to one another way before social media was invented, but it is undeniable that social media has a huge influence on society.
Social media has been linked to increased levels of loneliness, jealousy, anxiety, depression, narcissism and decreased social skills, according to Thrive Global. In 2018, behavioural scientist Clarissa Silva interviewed men and women, from ages 28-73, who were active social media users and found that:
60% of people who use social media said it impacted their self-esteem in a negative way
50% reported social media had negative effects on their relationship
80% said that it was easier to deceive others through social media
Normalization of toxic behaviour
In the maze of social media it seems like everywhere you turn there's toxic behaviour. There’s no way to escape it when you have Instagram pages like @JustinLaBoy with a following of over 4 million people who actually believe in his corrupt views.
We can’t address the popularization of toxicity without mentioning Brooklyn-born comedian Chicklet and his girlfriend, Maleni Cruz, who blew up on social media, gaining millions of followers with their carefully curated content filled with outrageous arguments, insults and jokes that sometimes go too far.
In one Instagram post, for example, Chicklet tells his “fellas” to make their girls wash the dishes, when Maleni loses it and physically forces her boyfriend to do them instead. “Make sure that sh*t clean,” she yells, “because you had the wrong one. Ladies, look, have your man on check like this.”
And last but not least, who could forget the 2021 poster woman for toxicity: Brittany Renner. Renner, a 29-year-old model and influencer with over 4 million followers on Instagram, has no shame in owning her toxic behaviour and influencing many of her female followers to do the same.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Renner started dating PJ Washington, a 23-year-old NBA player for the Charlotte Hornets. The couple appeared to be very much in love until a few months after the birth of their son, when PJ Washington wrote in a now deleted tweet: “You was faking it all along.”
Shortly after the couple's split was made public, a video surfaced online of Brittany Renner openly admitting to pursuing athletes because “none of them use condoms really,” and they’re easy to “come up off a cheque.”
Unrealistic expectations
Social media creates unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships. Nowadays, everyone wants to be the picture-perfect couple taking monthly trips to the Maldives and gifting each other Rolls Royces, Rolex watches, or Hermès Birkin bags. In other words, if you’re not Moneybaggyo and Ariana Fletcher, Lil Durk and India Royale, or Derrick Rose and Alaina Anderson, your relationship is doomed.
We have spent so much time staring at the grass on the other side when we know that the majority of the time, the grass is not always greener. Luxury and materialism are being associated with acts of affection and love. These days, a couple is “goals,” not because of their great communication skills, heartfelt affirmations, or attention to each other’s love languages, but because of the mansion one of them bought for the other as a gift.
One thing is certain: this generation is lost. We have a lot to work on when it comes to dating and relationships. It’s important for us to take well deserved breaks from social media and tune into reality because if we continue going at this rate, the Bachelor’s jeweller Neil Lane may have to retire.
